A Prostate Cancer Journey

Writing my last post was cathartic and gave me the chance to think about things in a more objective manner. And one thing that's been nagging me ever since is the focus on erections as the primary driver when it comes to sexual relations. I think that this is a by-product of the treatment plans, which are focussed on different ways to regain your erection, and for me I took this mental preoccupation into the bedroom as well. When things worked well I was happy, and when they didn't (ie the first 9 months post surgery) I was despondent. The truth of course is that there are many different ways to bring pleasure to both yourself and to your partner without the ability to maintain an erection. In fact I'd assume that you  won't  be able to maintain an erection for around 6-8 months and plan around it so that you can still enjoy each others company sexually. I won't go into any specifics because it's a very personal thing, but I'd suggest discussing this with yo...

Now the hard one (no pun intended) - tackling the subject of erectile disfunction. If you're squeamish don't read this one.  When I first had surgery my primary recovery focus was on continence. I was certainly aware of the possible impacts on the ability to get an erection but I found was able to get stiff by stimulating myself after around a month, so I focussed on the continence side instead. That went very well, and so it was a little disheartening that the erections did not continue to improve at the same rate. This is apparently a fairly common state of mind as the bladder largely sorts itself out after three months but the erections can take a year or more. An erection also needs a relaxation of the pelvic floor, which is the opposite of what was worked on to improve continence, and I think that this can have an effect on recovery times.  The problem for me was not getting aroused in the first place but the level of stiffness and maintaining it during sex. Pre-surgery ...

I let this blog go and focussed on other things after a while, so thought I'd wrap it up with a couple of posts on the longer term effects after a year. First off I am healthy. I've had three blood tests this year all showing undetectable levels of PSA. In other words the cancer did not escape the prostate. Physically I am fit and riding regularly, although a little lardy after Xmas! I still get what feels like 'pinching' pains from my surgery scars occasionally (particularly when constipated) but this is apparently to be expected.  I was carefully riding bikes around 10 weeks after surgery and was back on the dirt after around 3 months. Four months in I was jumping my singlespeed down the local trails. Six months in I came off my bike and skinned my arm, but nothing popped or broke which oddly felt like a win.  I have not had any significant continence accidents, but my toileting patterns have changed. I bought a batch of disposable pads that I used for my peace of min...

  Four weeks in and things are still going well. I'm able to drive, meet up with friends for breakfast, go shopping, go for a walk. I'm getting more confident being out of the house, but I still wear pads and need to be aware of toilet times and where the public toilets are. My volumes are going up - not hugely but it's a positive trend. I'm working again and able to help people use the software that I'm a specialist in. I'm helping out around the house a lot more and am having to hold myself back from mowing the lawn or carting a washing basket out to the line. I'm even drinking beer again and have a 10l batch of homebrew fermenting and almost ready to bottle. On the negative side I get tried very quickly when I do any of the above, but not enough to nap. So I'm often getting bored and frustrated. Worse I'm then grabbing my phone or tablet and doomscrolling or reading random clickbait articles, which is dropping into a bad habit that I want to break...

  Melodramatic? Me?  One of the interesting things about this recovery is how random parts of my body periodically hurt. Being a keen hypochondriac I'm regularly referring to Dr Google and for almost everything there is a post that says 'you've just had major surgery - that's not an unusual pain'*. Examples are -  Sore and tender belly on both sides Feeling of swelling in my belly, esp when constipated  Very sensitive belly skin Pain in my penis head & urethra Pain in my perineum (aka scranus) Rectal pain, even when resting  Pelvic bone pain when sitting on hard surfaces Lower back pain Hip pain  Sudden extreme sensitivity around wound sites - but only for 12 hrs The pre-surgery documentation also suggested that I may get pain in the tops of my shoulders, which has not been the case for me. I almost feel left out.  *I'm hoping this is actually true, I'll find out when I see my surgeon this week! 

  In the Doghouse, Again.  Graham Smith. Creative Commons License, Some Rights Reserved. A simple cautionary tale for today. We were doing laundry and my wife asked if I had checked for any leftover pads in my underwear. No need to check - I always take the pads out & bin them before I drop the clothes in the laundry basket. Simples.  You can guess where this is going.  It's like a tissue in a pocket or a missed sanitary pad but much much worse. The outer of the pad stays whole but the absorbent part of incontinence pads breaks down into a million or more small flecks of white. The outer looks like the insides have been sucked out of it, and every item of clothing that isn't a synthetic material gets covered in a white fuzz that's almost impossible to get off the clothes. Even a defuzzing brush (or whatever the fancy name is - delint?) can only clean one t-shirt without needing to be cleaned itself.  Predictably most of my stuff is quick drying synthetic, mo...